There will be dancing in the rain
There will be sunshine behind the clouds
There will be Rainbows after the storm
Yet
Step. By. Step.
Eyes focused
Breathing. Slowly.
One. Breath. At. A. Time.
Heart Guarded.
Carrying a Rainbow baby; which is a baby conceived after a miscarriage or loss can feel like you are walking on a tightrope.
It’s a careful balance between the excitement, joy and hope of a new life; and memories of the past. A balance of validating the child you loss, acknowledging the baby who you never held in your arms, but will always hold in your heart; with opening your heart to trust your body , to bond with the new pregnancy/baby.
You will realize that there is not a “ normal “ as you embrace a “new normal”. Every twinge, every bathroom break will have you questioning “is it happening again?”, “is this okay?” . This journey across a tightrope can be challenging, it can be scary, it can be unfamiliar.
Yet
There is hope while carrying a Rainbow baby. I’m writing this post so you will know, despite the pain and uncertainty and fear you can have hope. I want you to know it is a blessing in carrying a new life. I want you to know you are not alone on your journey. There are many women walking the same journey with you.
8 Ways to Walk the Tightrope with Hope while Carrying a Rainbow Baby
Remember the baby you miscarried/loss. That baby’s life is precious; and their life mattered- even if it was a short while. You many not have held your baby, cared or nurtured your child– the baby is still yours and their memory matters. I have found guilt sometimes associated with a pregnancy loss is eased when you acknowledge the baby you loss.
Own your feelings. Know everything you feel is true to you. There is not a right way to be happy or right way to grieve the baby/babies you loss. Work through the process. If you need counseling / spiritual advisor , family member or a really good friend- Know it is okay to talk with someone about your feelings.
Celebrate this life. Some women wait until the 12/13th week to announce the pregnancy. However, if you want to SHOUT your posistive pregnancy test when you first test- That is okay. This life is precious and deserves to be Celebrated
Bond with the Baby. After a loss it can be difficult to trust your body to do what it does. You may have a guarded heart. Things to help you bond with the baby: Talk to the baby, dream about the baby, ‘see a future” with the baby
1 Day at a Time: Seems very simple. Yet, it can be difficult. Try to focus on each day and what it brings. Rejoice in the present day that you are carrying your baby.
Prayer. Praying for peace, wisdom and Faith have served as great comforts during challenging times
Journaling. Taking the time to write your pregnancy journey. A journal will given you a place to vent, be excited, expresses the uncertainty and hope . To have a place to dream and believe
Know that everyone’s journey is different; and there is not one idea thought or suggestion that will work for everyone. You know what will help you have hope while carrying a Rainbow baby. Trust yourself and your instincts.
There will be dancing in the rain
There will be sunshine behind the clouds
There will be Rainbows after the storm
A “rainbow baby” is a baby that is born following a miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death or infant loss.In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better. The rainbow is more appreciated having just experienced the storm in comparison. (Kick Counts, 2015 found: http://www.kickscount.org.uk/rainbow-baby/)
Mary E., RN,BSN, MSN
Wife/Mother/Nurse/Champion of All Pregnant Women
contact: theamazingadventuresopregnancy@yahoo.com