As a mother of 5 children, I look back and realize I never had a plan on how many children I wanted. I can’t imagine what my life would be like if I thought about child bearing as most people with common sense do.
Kids are expensive. How will we pay for college? I’m too old to have kids. What about work? Our house isn’t big enough.
And the list can go on and on. If I had thought about all those things and planned ahead, my life would not be as adventurous, as noisy, as joyful or as loving as it is now. I could not imagine my life without having my 4 boys and my baby girl.
It’s true when people say the hardest transition is going from one child to two. It’s like you’ve become used to the daily routine but the second child is thrown in the mix, and life has somehow become chaotic multiple times over. When I learned I was having another son, I will admit I was a little disappointed. You always hear how perfect having a boy and girl is–and who doesn’t want perfection? I should have already learned perfection doesn’t exist when I entered my home. Toys, baby things–who know there could be so MANY baby items?! I found out I was pregnant again shortly after my second son. I was that 1% that breastfeeding was not an effective method of birth control. I’m not going to lie when I say I was stunned and a little scared. And then I found out the baby was a boy. I did cry during the ultrasound. And then he came along and couldn’t be more loving. After finding the 4th baby was yet another boy, I told my husband, he failed his wedding contract to give me a little girl. I had decided that we weren’t meant to have a girl. Boys were in the stars; which was fine because I was not a girly girl. Make up? Dresses? High heels? Jewelry? What were these things and how are they used?! My favorite outfit were scrubs.
Our family, our boys were fun, loving and loud. Quite often dinner somehow never happened, laundry was abundant and there was always an errand that was always put on hold. My home wasn’t perfect and did not look perfect. But who am I kidding?! I looked like a hot mess. But did I? Because most days, I didn’t even look in the mirror. I realized this when my coworker politely asked me if my skirt was inside out and horrified I quickly went to the bathroom and redressed in the light. I don’t even know when I last showered. I gave up on going to the bathroom by myself.
I would go to parties and watch my boys be boys-loud, rough, running around, beating each other with whatever they could find but laughing the whole time. I would then watch the girls sitting quietly, coloring and playing with dolls. I thought, how nice, I bet that house is quiet.
One week before Eric was scheduled for the big snip–a vasectomy; I found out I was pregnant! Dear Lord, I’m about to have 5 boys! I’ve already read all the blogs about “moms of boys” how having boys were a special blessing. Yes, if that blessing was watching your kids be daredevils and jumping off things that make your heart stop and wrestling and playing so hard that they say it hurts. But you’re laughing and it hurts?! At my ultrasound, I found out the baby was a girl. I didn’t believe it. My family and friends were ecstatic. When I delivered, the first thing I did was look between her legs. YES! A girl!
Gianna has added a whole new dimension to our family. She is the ultimate girl but who also wants to wrestle with her brothers. She still runs around, climbs, jumps and is the loudest in the family! She bosses her brothers around, they in turn tease her but they watch out for her and attend to her needs. Eric is wrapped around her little finger and with a kiss she can get him to do most anything. For me, as a mother who has a girl, there is a relationship that is different than the boys. It doesn’t mean I don’t love them all the same. But a girl makes you a little more gentle, a little more patient, and a little more self aware of being a woman. You teach her how girls should be treated. You teach her to accept her body type because you accept your extra lumps and bumps. She learns that being cute or pretty is not enough. Girls are also smart, funny and strong. Girls can conquer the world. My daughter will know that she can be a wonderfully powerful force and nothing can stop her in this life.
Kristine Walton ,RN, BSN
Wife/Mother of 5/Registered Nurse
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